So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
