I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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