doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
