to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Randomize
