Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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