i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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