i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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