it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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