I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Im part way to drunk.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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