As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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