I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
