Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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