I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
