so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
