Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Drunk is not a location!
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
