I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
