May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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