Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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