I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize