would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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