Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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