weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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