i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
