Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Randomize
