I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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