I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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