is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
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