Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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