It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
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