yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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