Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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