Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
