It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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