my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
