Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
