just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
