She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
