so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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