Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
