My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
