I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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