Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
