Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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