I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
