your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
