Do vagina's smell?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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