I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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