hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
