And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
