Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
We had sex on a dog bed..
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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