That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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