Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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