We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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