And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
