Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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