using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
We have so much sex to catch up on
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
