Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
And then my night got REAL pukey
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
