420 ftw
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
