We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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