Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I just want to make out with him forever
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
