Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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