Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
