Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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